Soft Skills

How To Be The One Everyone wants to be With

And I will pay more for ability to deal with people than for any other under the sun.

‘The great aim of education,’ said Herbert Spencer, ‘is not knowledge but action.’

Professor William James of Harvard said, ‘compared to what we ought to be, we are only half awake. We are making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources. Stating the thing broadly, the human individual thus lives far within his limits. He possesses powers of various sorts which he habitually fails to use.’

The Coming Lessons will be action lessons so it is advised to learn the content and put it into the action that day.

Soft Skills were the most important, is the most important, and will be the most important skill in the world.

John D. Rockefeller said that ‘the ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee.’ ‘And I will pay more for that ability,’ said John D., ‘than for any other under the sun.’

As said in the book How to Win Friends and Influence People,
The highest-paid personnel in engineering are frequently not those who know the most about engineering.
One can, for example, hire mere technical ability in engineering, accountancy, architecture or any other profession at nominal salaries. But the person who has technical knowledge plus the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people – that person is headed for higher earning power.

So I will list some Principles that if followed in every conversation will make you The one everyone want to be with

Don’t criticise, condemn or complain.


Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.

B.F. Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behaviour will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behaviour. Later studies have shown that the same applies to humans. By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment. and you can try this also with anyone and this will confirm your result,

‘As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation.’

Hans Selye

There you are; human nature in action, wrongdoers, blaming everybody but themselves. We are all like that. So when you and I are tempted to criticise someone tomorrow,

‘Judge not, that ye be not judged.

So remember the above thoughts next time you are criticizing someone,

Sharp criticisms and rebukes almost invariably end in futility.

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

Any fool can criticise, condemn and complain – and most fools do.
But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. ‘A great man shows his greatness,’ said Carlyle, ‘by the way he treats little men.’

So final Thoughts on this first lecture of this series

Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do.

That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. ‘To know all is to forgive all.’

‘God himself, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days.’ Why should you and I?

Dr. Johnson

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