You would dangle a worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish as you know that is the thing she is going to like. You don’t bait the hook with strawberries and cream.
So, Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?
Whenever you are trying to influence someone remember just one thing
It is necessary to bait the hook to suit the fish.
Remember that tomorrow when you are trying to get somebody to do something. If, for example, you don’t want your children to smoke, don’t preach at them, don’t scold them and don’t talk about what you want; but show them that cigarettes may keep them from making to the basketball team.
Every act we have ever performed since the day we were born was performed because we wanted something. Be it donation or a contribution to a noble cause. We did because we wanted to lend a helping hand; we wanted to do a beautiful, unselfish, divine act.
Harry A. Overstreet in his illuminating book Influencing Human Behaviour said: ‘Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire . . . and the best piece of advice which can be given to would-be persuaders, whether in business, in the home, in the school, in politics, is: First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.
Andrew Carnegie, the poverty-stricken Scotch lad who started to work at two cents an hour and finally gave away $365 million, learned early in life that the only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other person wants. He attended school only four years; yet he learned how to handle people.
So now there is work for us.
Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something. Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: ‘How can I make this person want to do it?’ That question will stop us from rushing into a situation ,with just thinking of our desires.
Sometime when we just rush into a situation without thinking of the person on the other side arguments begin.
We know how arguments end.
Even if I convince him that he is wrong, his pride would have made it difficult for him to back down and give in.
So its futile to get into an argument.
Here is one of the best bits of advice ever given about the fine art of human relationships.
Thousands of salespeople are pounding the pavements today, tired, discouraged and underpaid. Why?
Because they are always thinking only of what they want. They don’t realize that neither you nor I want to buy anything. If we did, we would go out and buy it. But both of us are eternally interested in solving our problems.
And if salespeople can show us how their services or merchandise will help us solve our problems, they won’t need to sell us. We’ll buy. And customers like to feel that they are buying – not being sold.
When next time in conversation with anyone try being more towards Assertive.
The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition and is sure of success.
Looking at the other person’s point of view and arousing in him an eager want for something is not to be construed as manipulating that person so that he will do something that is only for your benefit and his detriment.
Each party should gain from the negotiation.
‘Self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature.’
William Winter
Why can’t we adapt this same psychology to business dealings?
When we have a brilliant idea, instead of making others think it is ours, why not let them cook and stir the idea themselves.
They will then regard it as their own; they will like it and maybe eat a couple of helpings of it.