This small article of 1-2 minute read can be of great value for someone who is struggling to start a talk and feels tough to find a subject that will interest the other person.
We will first see how great leaders in the world started their talk with anyone they met.
The way is pretty simple ????
Whenever Roosevelt expected a visitor, he sat up late the night before, reading up on the subject in which he knew his guest was particularly interested.
For Roosevelt knew, as all leaders know, that the royal road to a person’s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most.
Talking in terms of the other person’s interests pays off for both parties.
You would dangle a worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish as you know that is the thing she is going to like. You don’t bait the hook with strawberries and cream.
So, Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?
Whenever you are trying to influence someone remember just one thing
It is necessary to bait the hook to suit the fish.
Remember that tomorrow when you are trying to get somebody to do something. If, for example, you don’t want your children to smoke, don’t preach at them, don’t scold them and don’t talk about what you want; but show them that cigarettes may keep them from making to the basketball team.
Every act we have ever performed since the day we were born was performed because we wanted something. Be it donation or a contribution to a noble cause. We did because we wanted to lend a helping hand; we wanted to do a beautiful, unselfish, divine act.
Harry A. Overstreet in his illuminating book Influencing Human Behaviour said: ‘Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire . . . and the best piece of advice which can be given to would-be persuaders, whether in business, in the home, in the school, in politics, is: First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.
Andrew Carnegie, the poverty-stricken Scotch lad who started to work at two cents an hour and finally gave away $365 million, learned early in life that the only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other person wants. He attended school only four years; yet he learned how to handle people.
So now there is work for us.
Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something. Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: ‘How can I make this person want to do it?’ That question will stop us from rushing into a situation ,with just thinking of our desires.
Sometime when we just rush into a situation without thinking of the person on the other side arguments begin. We know how arguments end. Even if I convince him that he is wrong, his pride would have made it difficult for him to back down and give in. So its futile to get into an argument.
Here is one of the best bits of advice ever given about the fine art of human relationships.
‘If there is any one secret of success’, ‘it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own’.
Henry Ford
Thousands of salespeople are pounding the pavements today, tired, discouraged and underpaid. Why?
Because they are always thinking only of what they want. They don’t realize that neither you nor I want to buy anything. If we did, we would go out and buy it. But both of us are eternally interested in solving our problems.
And if salespeople can show us how their services or merchandise will help us solve our problems, they won’t need to sell us. We’ll buy. And customers like to feel that they are buying – not being sold.
When next time in conversation with anyone try being more towards Assertive.
The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition and is sure of success.
‘People who can put themselves in the place of other people, who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them.’
Owen D. Young, a noted lawyer and one of America’s great business leaders
Looking at the other person’s point of view and arousing in him an eager want for something is not to be construed as manipulating that person so that he will do something that is only for your benefit and his detriment.
Each party should gain from the negotiation.
‘Self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature.’
William Winter
Why can’t we adapt this same psychology to business dealings?
When we have a brilliant idea, instead of making others think it is ours, why not let them cook and stir the idea themselves. They will then regard it as their own; they will like it and maybe eat a couple of helpings of it.
If out of reading these articles you get just one thing – an increased tendency to think always in terms of other people’s point of view, and see things from their angle – if you get that one thing out of these articles, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your career.
The ability to concentrate is a skill that gets valuable things done.
DEEP WORK-Professional activities performed in a state of distraction-free concentration that push your cognitive capabilities to their limit. These efforts create new value, improve your skill, and are hard to replicate.
Bill Gates famously conducted “Think Weeks” twice a year, during which he would isolate himself (often in a lakeside cottage) to do nothing but read and think big thoughts.
“If I organize my life in such a way that I get lots of long, consecutive, uninterrupted time-chunks, I can write novels. [If I instead get interrupted a lot] what replaces it? Instead of a novel that will be around for a long time… there is a bunch of e-mail messages that I have sent out to individual persons.” { Neal Stephenson, }
SHALLOW WORK-Noncognitively demanding, logistical-style tasks, often performed while distracted. These efforts tend to not create much new value in the world and are easy to replicate.
Sadly ????Larger efforts that would be well served by deep thinking, such as forming a new business strategy or writing an important grant application, get fragmented into distracted dashes that produce muted quality.
Spend enough time in a state of frenetic shallowness and you permanently reduce your capacity to perform deep work.
Our work culture’s shift toward the shallow is exposing a massive economic and personal opportunity for the few who recognize the potential of resisting this trend and prioritizing depth
He had to learn this material, and he made sure there was nothing in that room to distract him. (extreme way but effective)
First reason for deep work To remain valuable in our economy, therefore, you must master the art of quickly learning complicated things. This task requires deep work. If you don’t cultivate this ability, you’re likely to fall behind as technology advances.
The second reason that deep work is valuable If you can create something useful, its reachable audience (e.g., employers or customers) is essentially limitless—which greatly magnifies your reward. On the other hand, if what you’re producing is mediocre, then you’re in trouble, as it’s too easy for your audience to find a better alternative online.
The real rewards are reserved not for those who are comfortable using Facebook (a shallow task, easily replicated), but instead for those who are comfortable building the innovative distributed systems that run the service (a decidedly deep task, hard to replicate).
DEEP WORK IS “the superpower of the 21st century.”
The Deep Work Hypothesis: The ability to perform deep work is becoming increasingly rare at exactly the same time it is becoming increasingly valuable in our economy. As a consequence, the few who cultivate this skill, and then make it the core of their working life, will thrive.
Three to four hours a day, five days a week, of uninterrupted and carefully directed concentration, it turns out, can produce a lot of valuable output.
This ability to fully disconnect, (without just a sneak of mails and social media) allows me to be present with my wife and two sons in the evenings, and read a surprising number of books for a busy father of two.
More generally, the lack of distraction in my life tones down that background hum of nervous mental energy that seems to increasingly pervade people’s daily lives.
